That Time I Brought A Band Home With Me...

Remember that time I brought a band home from the bar with me? No? Well, settle in for a story.

There was this one night I went to Garryowen with my friend Buddy and my other friend Theresa. We sat toward the back of the bar, sipping our drinks, and this very attractive man slipped behind the counter and disappeared into the kitchen. He wasn’t Buddy’s type so she wasn’t interested, but Theresa and I were like, “Ooolala.” Sensing the need to act before Theresa thought to do so, I complimented the attractive man’s mustache the next time he passed us. He’d waxed it.

Turns out, the attractive man was named Dan and he was in the band that was playing that night. Bella’s Bartok. I’d never heard of them, but as they began to play, I quickly realized that they sound quite similar to Gogol Bordello: high-energy and very danceable. I liked ‘em!

Upon the show’s conclusion, some of the band members came over to talk to my friends and I. I believe I sent Dan a Guinness… He intentionally dipped his mustache in the front when he took a sip and it was very cute. Anyway, Dan came over to thank me and brought his buddy Chris along. Chris was equally adorable, but in his own way. He was so joyful, you know? We got to talking about things and one of the things Chris asked me was, “Do you live here in Gettysburg?”

I said that I did.

“Do you have your own place in town?”

I assured him that I did.

“Like, a house?”

“A house,” I said. “I own it.”

“Does it have floors?”

“Um…” I began, perplexed. “It does, yes.”

“Can we sleep on your floors?”

Apparently, the boys of Bella’s Bartok don’t book hotel rooms or come up with sleeping arrangements before traveling from their hometown of Amherst, Massachusetts. Instead, they find someone nice and safe-seeming in the crowd and ask if they can crash with them for the night. On that particular night, the nice and safe-seeming person was me!

I told Chris that I needed to confer with my Buddy. Together, Chris and I erected an invisible wall of bricks in order to provide some privacy. To Buddy, I whispered, “I sort of want to take them home. It’d make a good story. But do you think that’s a smart idea?”

Buddy: “They seem like nice guys.”

Me: “Right, but I live alone. What if they pull a Ted Bundy or something?”

Buddy: “How about I go home with you and check the vibe? Then I’ll leave and call you first thing in the morning to make sure you’re still alive.”

Me: “Sure, that sounds logical.”

Disassembling the invisible brick wall, I turned to Chris and said, “I think I’m inclined to say ‘yes,’ but I only have two guest beds and I have cats, so if you’re allergic--”

“You have cats?!” he interrupted.

At that moment, Asher, Crisco, and Amory appeared. Amory had been communicating with someone on the sidewalk out front about possibly staying with him.

Amory: “Where are we staying? The guy out front wants to know if we’re gonna follow him home.”

Chris: “Does the guy out front have cats?”

Asher and Crisco: “Does Hannah have cats?!”

Me: “I have cats. Four of them.”

Amory: “We’re staying with Hannah!”

So I took them home. All seven of them! Or maybe it was just six of them that night... The number sometimes fluctuated, you know? I mean, it's not like they only ever stayed with me just the one time.

Asher was wearing a fur coat that first night and so I got out my fur coat, put it on, and we had a photo opt. Then I offered everyone a drink and introduced them to the cats. Dan and I stayed up until 5AM talking about music and books and how he doesn’t put ice in his water. "When my body needs water, it needs water," he told me. "It doesn't matter what temperature it is." I think of that surprisingly often...

Anyway, Dan and I sat at the kitchen table and drank red wine until the sun began to rise. It’s both the earliest and latest I’ve ever consumed wine.

The next morning, the boys made breakfast. Eggs, bacon, toast, and orange juice, if I remember correctly. Chris and Dan went to the grocery store and I vividly remember telling them not to buy eggs. For some reason, I had so many eggs in the refrigerator at that point in time. In later visits, French toast and Eggs Benedict were on the menu… Amory knew his way around the kitchen and always created something delicious. Amory, in fact, was the person who prepared the first poached egg I ever consumed! And it was delicious!

Since the band’s initial stay at my house, their lineup has changed quite a bit, but their songs and performances are every bit as amazing as they’ve always been. Catch them in concert if you have the opportunity – you won’t regret it! They're getting bigger by the minute and you need to take advantage of the small venues in which they still sometimes perform. Maybe you can even offer them a place to crash after the show!