Things Overheard in the Classroom

I'm not entirely sure how much noneducators will appreciate this blog... but while my fifth-period kiddos worked on their short stories today, I recorded what they said. And it's pretty funny (in my opinion).

It’s funny ‘cos you’re ugly.

Who? Who? Who?

What should I call my story? I think I’m gonna call it “The Irish Kidnapper.” Think that’s good? Nah. Actually, that doesn’t have much to do with my story.

Like, as soon as I look on the page and see a bad word, it bounces around my head and gives me a concussion. Like it goes into my eyes and then is in my head and just [shakes head vigorously] but then it goes out my ear and at that point I’m like, “Wow. I can’t read that book.”

Fatty the Hatty Ratty.

What are you reading?

What is that called? Is it just “He hits the ball?”

Okay, one second.

I changed the names. Want to read it?

No.

That’s so mean.

I’m trying to finish mine.

Did you ever recover from all those calves I made? I have an idea.

That don’t look like work to me.

It looks like you really have a lot done here.

I have a page and a half.

Why is your sensitivity so high?

What about “The Boy Who Saved Ireland?”

If you read mine, you can clearly tell.

“Petridge Pan.” Like “Peter Pan,” but “Petridge Pan” because he’s from Ireland.

Oh, man… It’s right on the tip of my tongue.

Did you read my story yet? Hey! Having read my story, what do you think I should call it?

“The Great Kidnapping.”

That’s actually so dumb.

Wait. We have to come up with the story for ours? I mean, wait. Not the story.

Did you get it again?

It was an accident.

Please stop laughing. Stop. Stop. Stop it. 

What’re we doing in Spanish today?

This online thing. It’s graded, but not really. It’s just for practice.

People constantly power their computers off.

I’m your friend, definitely. 

If I had to give this a title… Wait. Do I put the title and my name on the story?

I could probably give some suggestions.

Would you like to read it?

I’m gonna actually read it this time. Do you see where it’s at? Good.

We don’t need your hands on the track pad.

I seriously missed so many commas.

I need butter. Wait. Do you have any soy beans? 

I have fourteen.

I need them for my next boat order. 

Is he still going through our trash? 

I forgot.

Did he make it scratch the case? Did he break it?

You’re a liar.

Let me look.

I’m not seeing anything.

Yeah, but he’s the one who said he couldn’t see when the lights were off.

What’s your story about? Is it about a wedding?

He basically got offered five thousand dollars to blow up the wedding.

Would you do it?

What did you say?

But then we have to, like, decrease the font.

What’s going on with your mini-golfer guy? Did he disappear down a hole?

These conversations are so boring.

There’s a sea monster under the water.

His wife came out of the water.

Don’t be talking about him like that! That’s his grandpa!

I only know her from the song. Dolly Parton. 

I heard that song the other day.

Is his first name James or Jim? Because on the paper the other day, it said Jim.

Is Jim even a nickname for James?

Dialogue and such!

Can you please stop talking to me?

He’s in a bit of a mood.

Slow and steady wins the race.

Just kidding.